I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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