3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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