is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
