Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When are your genitals available?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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