The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
