brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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