I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
