I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
