But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
