i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
