Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
