I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
