dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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