btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
