it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
