Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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