i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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