I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
