Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dual....:-)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
