I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
