yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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