So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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