Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
