I want to stick my p in your. b.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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