I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
