I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im holly from the hills drunk
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
