I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
