i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
