So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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