i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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