fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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