I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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