he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
