I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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