too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I didn't notice because vodka
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
