Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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