Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Damn victory sex feels great
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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