did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
