i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
