we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
