Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
