Cold hands, warm shart.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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