She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
