he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
