Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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