I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
