cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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