Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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