gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
