why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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