There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
