My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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