he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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